Most parents dread this topic but I am here to tell you, as a survivor myself and behavior therapist, that with some PLANNING and PATIENCE it will not be as stressful as you think! The REALLY good news is that almost 100% of typically developing children will master this necessary life skill by the age of 5 (Azrin & Foxx) – so you can take comfort in the fact that your child will most likely not be entering kindergarten in diapers 🙂
PREREQUISITE SKILLS:
It is best to wait until your child shows the prerequisite skills before you start toilet training. Minimum successful age requirement is 24 months. The age varies for most typically developing children but is usually between 3-4 years of age.
* Child is staying dry for 1 1/2 -2 hours at a time.
* Child is able to pull pants up and down independently.
* Child is having regular bowel movements (same time of day with regular frequency).
When you start teaching your child how to use the bathroom it is important to remember that bladder control comes before bowel movement control and nighttime bladder control.
WHERE:
Home is ideal. Try to plan toilet training around a time when you and your child will be mostly home for a period of about 2 weeks (school break or summer break). Also it is not a good idea to plan it before a stressful event. If you know you are moving in the next three months or there will soon be the birth of a sibling wait until after this event.
If child is attending school or daycare during the toilet training period you must communicate your plan to the school. It is most helpful if there is one person at the school who will implement your plan consistently.
PREPARATION:
* Start reading picture books to your child about potty training (Once Upon a Potty and Big Kids Use the Potty are great examples). There are also apps available that you can play with your child ( Potty Time is a great one!). Most of these books show boys sitting on the toilet – this is the preferred method – boys should be taught to sit on the toilet until they are fully BM trained.
* Identify out loud when your child is wet with a neutral voice. You can say “You’re very wet.”
* Show them that poop goes into the potty. Empty the diaper into the toilet and say “Poop goes in the potty.”
GET YOUR TOOLS READY:
1) REINFORCERS!! Rewards should be immediate, highly motivational, tangible and ONLY used for toilet training (if you are using gummy bears or glitter stickers for potty training then the child cannot get gummy bears or glitter stickers at any other time or for any other reason during the day).
2) Pull-up diaper pants. These mimic underwear and are the most practical item to use, especially if child is having a lot of accidents.
3) Small floor potty or step stool. Child’s feet should always be touching something (ground or stool).
4) Timer.
5) Juice or water.
AND GO! :
1) Increase consumption of liquids. This should be a steady increase, not all at once. This allows for more opportunities of voiding into the toilet. Check with your doctor first to determine correct, safe amount.
2) Schedule potty time. Start with 2-4 times per hour. Set timer. When timer rings bring your child to the toilet while saying “Time to go to the bathroom”. Have child pull down his/her pants and sit on the toilet. If they void into the toilet say “Great job!” and give them a the REWARD!
3) DO NOT punish or criticize accidents if they occur in between the timed intervals. Have the child clean or change his/her clothes and then walk child from the spot of the accident to the toilet anywhere from 3-10 consecutive times and each time say “We pee and poop in the potty”. Use a neutral tone of voice. This is called Positive Practice.
4) Slowly increase the time between intervals and decrease liquid consumption to normal levels. Give a REWARD each time child voids into the toilet making an extra special celebration if they request and go independently. Children love to see their parents dance and sing and make silly faces – this is the time!
5) Once child is urine trained you can focus on BM training. Use the same technique but up the REWARD to something the child “would die for”!
NIGHTTIME TRAINING:
* Once the child is fully daytime trained you can implement nighttime training. This would be when the child wakes up 5 days in a row completely dry.
* Stop using pull-ups. The child should now be in regular underwear. This can be a huge celebratory event and you can take the child shopping for their favorite character underwear!
* No liquids within 2 hours of bedtime.
* Institute a regular bed time and wake time.
* Toilet immediately upon waking.
* Take child to bathroom if he/she wakes in the night.
TOILET ACCIDENTS after training is complete:
* An occasional accident happens to all children. It is normal. Do not make a big deal about in front of the child.
* Rule out medical issues, dietary changes and/or stressful family events (the hurricane was a big one, relocation, etc).
* If these behavioral techniques do not work check with your doctor or pediatrician to rule out medical issues or elimination disorders.
That’s it! Good luck – you got this!!
Patient Parenting 101 