It is that time of year again. The lazy days of summer are behind us and we now jump into the sometimes hectic routine of school, after school activities, sports, music lessons and homework. The good news is that we can help get our children organized and get them to feel good about it.
As most of you know I am a big supporter of all things POSITIVE. Especially as it relates to and shapes our relationships with our children and family. Human beings respond well to being noticed, being told they have done well and being validated. They will seek out this positive attention and behave accordingly.
Positive Reinforcement comes in many forms and should be practiced daily with our children. There are verbal and nonverbal reinforcers that we can use with our children to help get them organized and motivated for a great school year.
Verbal reinforcers should come freely:
“Wow you got dressed quickly this morning!”
“I like how you laid your clothes out and got your backpack ready last night. That was helpful.”
“I love how you put reminders on your phone to get to practice on time”. That was very clever.”
Nonverbal reinforcers can include:
Hugs, a pat on the back, kisses (though your teen may squirm they do appreciate it).
Giving your child extra video game time for completing their homework. (Choose any activity that truly motivates them).
Earning stickers on a chart to get a prize.
Positive words that you can use: helpful, organized, determined, intelligent, considerate, clever, strong, friendly, kind.
You can even make a list of positive words that you would like to be able to use to describe your children when they are adults. Use these words daily so they are absorbed into your child’s self esteem and self concept as we did above with the verbal reinforcers. Self concept becomes a tape reel in their heads and they will refer to it often as they grow. An example may be,
“I am going to keep track of my daily homework assignments in this notebook because I am organized.”
“I will raise my hand in class because I am considerate.”
Remember what you praise is what you get! This will go a long way in avoiding arguments, homework meltdowns and school year chaos. Have a great year!
Patient Parenting 101 