Hi! We have all experienced it as a parent, that embarrassing, frustrating, infuriating moment when you child talks back to you. In our house we call it “being fresh”. My son has tried every tone with me. The three techniques that I have found the most helpful for ending this power struggle before it even begins are:
1.) Teach your child that talking that way will NOT get them what they want.
Never reinforce this behavior by giving them an item or situation that they want. You can simply say “I am not going to talk or respond to you while you have that tone with me. Once you change your tone I will be glad to listen.” Then be consistent.
2.) “Try that again.”
This is my favorite approach because it expands on #1 and actually TEACHES the child how to respond appropriately. If my son responds with a “fresh” tone I say “Try it again.” He then has to leave the room, gather himself and re-enter with a new, appropriate statement.
Some times a child really doesn’t know how to ask for things, recognize emotions or properly communicate. That is why this approach is helpful for both parents and children. You may see that your child is frustrated in the moment and you can identify that for them so they can recognize that emotion in the future. We have all lashed out when we were feeling angry or frustrated. This techniques teaches a child from a young age how to appropriately handle these types of situations. “I’m frustrated right now” is an appropriate response. “I hate you!” is not.
3.) Look at the child’s situation and surroundings.
Take the time to look at, really look at the surroundings. What kind of talk occurs around your child? How much sarcasm, fighting and sass is your child exposed to on a daily basis? Make sure your child is not modeling behaviors he or she encounter regularly. If they are then change the environment.
Sticking a pic of Liam in here – because it’s my blog and because he is so darn cute (when he is not talking back of course).
Patient Parenting 101 