Patient Parenting 101

Easy behavior modification techniques to change the way you parent.

Discipline vs. Punishment: 2 very different things.

on October 26, 2012

Discipline and Punishment are not the same thing. They are two very different approaches to parenting.

Discipline is an INNER quality. It is not something with which children are born. It is a LEARNED behavior. It is TAUGHT. This includes self-discipline and self-control.

Punishment is some that happens to a child. There are 2 types of punishment:

negative punishment – when something is taken AWAY from a child. Negative punishment occurs when a child loses access to something such as a video game or recess.

positive punishment – occurs when something is ADDED to the environment such as a stern look or an extra chore. The most known example and controversial positive punishment is physical punishment such as a slap.

PATIENCE as a parent comes with understanding these very different forms and with an understanding of appropriate age related expectations.

TIPS FOR DISCIPLINE:

1) Model the correct behavior for them. Let your child(ren) see what appropriate behavior looks like by the way you act (and react) everyday.

2) If they are hitting or pinching another child then step in and teach them an appropriate way to express their anger and frustration – remember they do not know how to control their impulses – it must be taught to them.

3) Avoid telling children what they cannot do – tell them what they can do instead. So instead of saying “Do not throw the blocks!” you can say “You can use the blocks to build things” and then show them.

4) Use inappropriate behaviors as opportunities to teach appropriate behavior.

My job as a Parent Coach is to teach how to Discipline. I do not use Punishment as a means to an end. I always tell my parents to see every opportunity as a teaching moment.

Never hit or spank a child. This humiliates them and literally changes the person they will become. It teaches absolutely nothing  to a child except to be fearful of you and that violence is okay. If you are frustrated (we have all been there) model self-control by walking away for a moment, taking a deep breath and analyzing the situation from a calmer perspective.

Remember it is our job as parents to teach our children with love and respect.

Please feel free to contact me with questions on how to address a specific behavior. I would love to hear from you!


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