Patient Parenting 101

Except with crazy glue (especially when hanging by a helmet from a really tall building) over bonding is considered a bad thing.

As I explained in my first post, Bonding is necessary for successful parenting. Over bonding, however can put even the most well-intentioned parents at a disadvantage and cause a host of problems for you and your child.

Signs of Over Bonding:

• Your child is overly dependent on you.
• You feel overly responsible for your child and feel guilty if you cannot provide them with their every desire.
• Your child struggles to make independent decisions.
• You speak for your child.
• Your child is lacking self-confidence.
• You are still breast feeding your 6 year old 😉

These may be signs of over bonding. Over bonding has been linked to a lack of self esteem, misguided relationships and anxiety in children and young adults.  The good news is that it is never too late to build an appropriate bond with your child!

Tips to build and then nurture an appropriate bond:

• Make eye contact when you are speaking to each other.
• Hugs and kisses (even baby and toddler massages).
• Read to each other.
• Let your child make (age appropriate) decisions on their own.
• Tell your child your favorite childhood stories.
• Create family rituals. Celebrate family traditions.
• One on one time is a must!
• Play with them (minus your cell phone – guilty oops).

Remember that appropriate bonding will HELP and TEACH your child to maintain emotional balance, develop fulfilling intimate relationships, be self-reliant and independent, give them a great deal of self-esteem, share their feelings and seek appropriate support, and rebound from disappointment and loss.

Happy Bonding!

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